You walk out of your bed and immediately caught in a chilly breeze.Yes,you hear it,A chilly breeze!In the middle of summer!! A chilly breeze like a metal arrow shot onto the smooth honey skin – so smooth and hot the kind of skin baked in the tropical solar oven, attacks your sensation of touch. Trembling uncontrollably, you look no better than a frightened little chicken experiencing its first winter out of the warm shell.It is not winter yet.A fool of you nature’s playing in the middle of summer. A witchy switch from 35 celcious degrees to a 28 of the same standard could blow you into this ultra shock. Shocked, certainly you are. Life is a bar of chocolate.Naïve, greenhorn, babyfaced, you are unready to taste other favours of it other than the easy tasting yet boring sweetness.Well, it is not true. You did taste bitter chocolate.You are ready but not to do it alone. But its time you got out of your bed and put your two feet on the floor. The room floor of summer is as bare as your feet. Your favorite Guatemala carpet was sacked to its tranquil retirement in a box full of other winter sacked,in your sister’s room which is no different from a storage.You feel the ground on your feet shaking a little bit. It scares you. Earthquake in your home? Weird,this is not Kobe! Or is it the elec-emo current that makes it shaking? Whatever it is, thanks to gravity, you are not floating .



Stepping out of your bed – the bed chocked with teddies and dolls and lions and and mute souls and 3 pillows filled with blue stars and red moons – out of your child-world you are stepping toes by toes .Standing in the coconut tree style - streight and vigorous,dazed and dumb -next to the bed with your two feet on the floor, your black eyeballs cant help turning back and scanning your hole. You are in split mind. What to bring to your new journey and what not. Every single object that the black lightening balls touch opens up a story, an image, a sound reminding you of places,faces and graces of yesterday life.To you they are all sacred.Even more sacred is the different feelings and love that you have for them.Pressing your feet on the floor, the black balls of fire scanned around one more time, packing up all that they grasp into a 3D unlimited invisible box. The sacred box of precious childhood was neatly packed and placed confidentially somewhere in your mind. So well organized, you feel your feet strong and steady on the floor. Its time to let them move.



She can not move anymore. Your girl friend returns to bed. It is a new bed, not the one she used to be pampered at nights by the sweet dreams of friends and day gossips, of guys with red roses or he ,whom she never met,with long black hair,making his prince charming walk in a summer rain.It is not the bed she used to be scared by nightmare of black beasts in teacher covers or mommy with green ghost eyes scolding at her for late home coming. She is lying on a strange and random bed of hospital. It is a white bed covered by a white sheet,on which put a white pillow.She doesn’t wear her silky pijamas of eye-catchy,sophisticatedly mixed colours. Instead, they put her in a white gown. White is the colour of favorite of doctors who are oddly faithful to the love of cleaness. White is the scary colour of separation,blank,emptiness, zero and shock for the visitors like you. She would have loved white colour. She dreamt to be a doctor and strived to get a scholarship to fly her life to magnificent Paris where she would make herself an educated woman. Her name would be changed into Dr. XYZ followed by this and that degrees between the two brackets. In the white blouse, she would cure human’s physical pains and kill away moaning and screaming of broken spirits. She was living a beautiful summer dream. Her summer dream could be a life time magic. Or her summer dream could be a showery rain. That kind of rain showers quicker than anyone could ever imagine. It ends when it has just started. Unfortunately,she is not chosen to see the magic. Fortunately,she is settled with the sweetness favour of chocolate. Unfortunately, she wished she could taste more favour, no matter how disgusting or terrifying it might turn out to be.In two days time, she will have to go, the doctors tell her mom. She will get out of the bed and maybe she will float. What sacred thing would she bring into her journey? Not her glasses, it would remind her of stressful of schools and late nights sitting up working for a broken dream.



Her friends,the boys and the girls and you,will continue their journeys. Everybody chooses his road. All the roads are different. She has her own road too. The only difference is she doesn’t choose it. But they wont say her road is shorter than theirs. It is just she spend time at this Earth station shorter to spend time at her next XYZ station longer. They are destinied to stay here longer. But their gravity is not endless, they will be floating, one day. Everyone must get on their train when it comes.



For them and you, her moving to the next station at the age of 18 is like the weather drops to minus celcious degrees in the middle of a tropical summer. It shocked her world of friends - the naïve guys and girls enjoying their 18th summer with life turning plans,overflowing energy and dreams.They are not prepared to taste this kind of favour. It is overwhelmingly bitter.



You suddenly want to be in your island to trace your thoughts into words and craft the words onto the sand. You stand there, not like a coconut tree, but an oak of harsh accumulated heaviness. You feel like all the words you craft into the sand make the beach thicker and heavier.All the thoughts you press onto your heart weigh your whole body down and prevent it from standing up in a straight and vigorous shape. You stare motionlessly at the words on the sand wishing to let ago all your inner jute bags of sand .The elec-emo current rushes from your head to your toes and all the way round.Misteriously, the waves come and take away with ease everything it could reach and grasp from the sand. Zig zaged,rough and variegated,your words on the sand are disturbed, destroyed and carried away pieces by pieces.You black balls keep staring motionlessly as if the blood frozen in your vessels. Not frozen. You are just being crippled under the affect of the dizzy intensity of the blood rushing and elec-emo current.



Suddenly, you find yourself jumping in the frightful violent waves. As your back turns red in the blazing hot summer sun and the whipping of the waves, you rest your back on the old retiring waves near the coast, letting yourself floating on the edge of the colossal navy blue carpet. Another moment, you stand up on your bare feet, spread your thin and firm arms,swallow the ocean breathe into your throat ,stretch your chess against the wind from the open sea, your face rise up to the bright sun. Your whole body swim in the ocean of lights. Like an immeasurably high coconut tree, you stand up straightly and vigorously.

To Phuong 1 Am 1 July 2003

Now playing Top Loader

** we get it on most every night
When that moon is big and bright
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight
Everybody here is out of sight
They don't bark and they don't bite
They keep things loose they keep it tight
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

* dancing in the moonlight
Every's feeling warm and bright
It's such a fine and natural sight
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight
We like our fun and we never fight
You can't dance and stay uptight
It's a supernatural delight
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Just created my reading oasis. whee! i m still discovering Tig! :p

Simon Hattenstone
Monday June 30, 2003
The Guardian

The crowd is gathering outside Eyestorm, a tiny gallery off Regent Street. Camera crews, snappers, local workers and passersby. "Who are they waiting for?" people ask as they stroll past. "Pele!" whispers the crowd. "Pele? Really? Pele?" So the crowd thickens. It's 32 years since Pele retired from international football, but everybody still wants to shake hands with the world's greatest.

Eventually the car draws up to a muffled roar. Pele steps out. It's the first time I've had a lump in my throat before an interview. He is 62, and has barely changed over the decades. As a kid he looked eerily mature. Now he looks eerily young. The hair is still a natural dense black, he is tidy and trim and surprisingly small. His feet, clad in smart leather shoes, look tiny. Eamonn, the photographer, says how come big Bobby Moore couldn't get to grips with Pele.

But he couldn't. Nobody could. The records are repeated again and again - more than 1,200 goals scored in professional football, 90-odd hat-tricks, three World-Cup winner medals. Perhaps he's even better remembered for the goals he almost scored in the 1970 World Cup finals: the audacious shot from within his own half; the dummy he played against the goalkeeper, sending the ball one way and running the other; the header into the bottom corner that resulted in Gordon Banks pulling off what is often regarded as the greatest save ever. He had everything as a player - pace, poise, strength, balance, and the most incredible vision. But he was more than a player. Somehow, he seemed to embody innocence, goodness and, for so many years, incorruptibility.

He is being herded into the gallery to open an exhibition of Pele photographs. Ralph Gibson shows Pele with his head pressed against a ball which in turn is pressed against a wall; William Klein has montaged seven Peles into one group shot; British artist Marc Quinn has him with a silver ball balanced on his head. In the most interesting picture, by Tierney Gearon, Pele is casually eating breakfast and stroking a dog while a semi-naked pregnant woman (Gearon herself) talks into the phone. But, on the whole, this is business masquerading as art. The photographs are commercial images that will doubtless appear in myriad marketing campaigns. Prints are priced from £500 to £10,000 a pop.

Here at Eyestorm the old football world and the new one merge uneasily. Pele is all warmth and charm, while his business partners, who own the image rights, are cold and calculated.

Pele is shepherded from one camera crew to another. He looks lost but gives as much time as he is allowed. We are kept waiting till the end, having been promised the only "proper" interview. Anisa, who is doing work experience at the Guardian, is with us. She has cerebral palsy and gets around, at a crazy pace, using a frame with wheels. Pele notices her taking a photo as he is marched to yet another interview. He stops, asks for Anisa's camera, calls someone over and asks if she could take a photo of the two of them together.

He rejoins the press corps who want to talk about his golden moments. Does he wish that he had scored the goal when he dummied the keeper? "Listen," he says, "I scored a lot of goals in this World Cup that people don't remember. This play, every place I go people talk about it. If it was a goal people might not have remembered it." And his smile lights the room up. He is asked about his mastery of the bicycle kick. "The bicycle kick is not easy to do," he says. "I scored 1,283 goals and only two or three were bicycle kicks."

Anisa and I finally get our turn. She is 16, has no right to remember him, but like so many teenagers she's a massive Pele fan. She sits next to him on the sofa. He takes her hand as he talks to her. There are few people who have such an effect on others - Princess Di, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela. To be touched by Pele is to be blessed.

He was born Edson Arantes do Nascimento, and often talks of Pele in the third person. It's as if they are two different people, and Edson is Pele's representative on earth, I say. "Yes, I feel like that. I used to go out and people said Pele! Pele! Pele! Pele! all over the world, but no one remembers Edson. Edson is the person who has the feelings, who has the family, who works hard, and Pele is the idol. Pele doesn't die. Pele will never die. Pele is going to go on for ever. But Edson is a normal person who is going to die one day, and the people forget that.

When he was eight years old he was playing football, and one boy started to call him Pele. He didn't have a clue why. The word had no meaning, so he presumed it was an insult. "I said, 'Why are you making a joke about me, why d'you call me Pele? And every kid started to tease me. Then I fight with him. I say my name is Edson. Then all the kids from the school start to call me Pele in the classroom. So I fight in the classroom. I get two days' suspension. Then my father, who was also a footballer, had to go to school because the director called him." Soon enough, his parents were calling him Pele.

The separation of Pele and Edson seems to have kept him grounded. It allows him to celebrate his genius without sounding horribly arrogant. "I think of Pele as a gift of God," he says. "We have billions of billions of people in the world, and we have one Beethoven, one Bach, one Michelangelo, one Pele. That is the gift of God." All he can do, he says, is to try to be a good person, to repay God, and repay the people for their love, and honour Pele.

Has God always been important to him? "All my life I thank God. My family was very religious." It's incredible, I say, how many Brazilian people manage to marry such faith with such corruption. "Yes, there is a story," he says. "Jesus says to St Peter, 'Come with me because I want to set up the world.' So St Peter starts to talk with Jesus and says, 'Let's put the minerals in this country - you know, the gold and diamonds, we'll put it here.' Then Jesus says, 'Let's also put a beautiful beach here.' Then he says, 'Oh, let's put a big beautiful forest here.' Then St Peter says, 'Jesus Christ! Everything good you put in Brazil. What about the other countries?' Jesus says, 'Wait, you're going to see the people I put there!'" He belly laughs. "See! That is the joke!"

Between 1995 and 1998, Pele was Brazil's Extraordinary Minister for Sport and, amazingly, the country's first black minister. He tried to clean up football, but soon found himself under attack. Was he surprised? He shakes his head and says that there is a thin line between love and hate and when you confront corruption, you discover this. "I wanted to make a law to punish the presidents of clubs who don't use the money properly and then I became the big enemy. Everybody said, 'Oh Pele doesn't know anything about football.'" Did the criticism hurt? "No, because the majority of the people know who I am, and the people who said that it was better if the game stayed the same, if they start to say good things about me, then I would worry. I prefer to stay away from these people."

What was undeniably harmful was when his own company, Pele Sport and Marketing, was accused of stealing $700,000 (£425,000) belonging to Unicef. Pele sued his partner, Helio Viana, told the world that he believed Viana had stolen up to $10m from his company, including the Unicef cash, and closed the company. He admitted that he had been naive, but his critics said that he was too old for such a plea and suggested that his entrance into political life had been motivated by greed, not altruism (enabling him to win more contracts for his company); that a man estimated to be earning £18m a year - his face sells Mastercard, Coca-Cola, Nokia and, indirectly, Viagra (though he is quick to point out he is not impotent) - cannot be that naive.

But there does seem something wide-eyed and innocent about the man. I ask him why corruption is so much part of Brazilian life. "I think it's because they don't give space to the educated people, the people who have been to college. If you don't give education to people, it is easy to manipulate them."

Pele seems happy to talk about corruption. But his men in the background are becoming irritable. The man who owns image rights to the exhibition complains that we've not talked about the pictures. He says we have 10 more minutes, and suggests we spend them looking at the photographs.

I ask Pele about a lovely, enigmatic picture taken when he was 17 - he is on the pitch holding his head in his hands. He looks at the photo. "I didn't have a clue what happened. It all looked like a dream. I had no responsibility. I was just a normal player." When did he realise that he had a special responsibility? He reassesses. "No, at 17 I already had responsibility because I took care of my family, but in the football I was young, I wasn't experienced or the captain, I was just in the team."

He talks about the importance of family. He has been married twice, and has six children, two from his first wife, two from his current wife, and two out of marriage. Have any gone into football? "My son Edinho is a goalkeeper for Santos. I told him he was crazy - I used to kill the goalkeeper."

He seems much more interested in the photos of him in action than the new ones, and even more interested in the video showing classic action. He stops in front of it, and jabbers faster and faster in Portuguese to a friend, till he sounds like a combustible Brazilian football commentator. He really does look like a child now, standing there, fascinated and awed by his younger self. I ask him a question, but he's too engrossed to hear. "No, wait. I want to see Pele," he says. "It looks like yesterday."

The image rights people tell me Pele has to leave now. I beg another few minutes, and they allow me to travel the five minutes' drive to the hotel with him. Outside, he struggles through the crowd. All I can hear is "Pele! Pele! Pele! Pele!" and his response, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He bangs on the roof of the car and we're off.

I ask him if there's anything he dislikes about himself, anything he regards as a weakness? "What I feel very weak about is what we started talking about downstairs. After I scored my 1,000th goal in the Maracana I started a movement for schools in Brazil." He made a speech saying that the only hope for the children lay in education. "That was my goal, but I've not seen this goal. I've not seen this prosperity. And this makes me feel very sad." He feels he could have done more? "Exactly. I don't know how, but I must continue to fight to do more, to do my best. I represent Brazil all over the world. Wherever I go I have to do my best, to not disappoint the Brazilian people. And that I've done. But the fight againstcorruption, no."

We drive away from the crowd. How does such adulation make him feel? "Good because people love me." He looks bemused and delighted. "It's fantastic, all over the world people respect and love me. It's unbelievable if you think I stopped playing more than 25 years ago."

"You know," he says, suddenly excited, "I recently discovered the meaning of Pele. Friends in Brazil have been trying to find the meaning for years and years and have looked all over the world, and they've just discovered in the Bible in Hebrew it means miracle!"

And he looks so pleased, as if it all finally makes sense.

Pele is at the Eyestorm Gallery,www.eyestorm.com.

DKC cam on da send em this :).Doc hay te!!

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.


He said, "My son, it is between 2 wolves. One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good: Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith..."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."

its almost 3am
geeze i cant sleep
feeling so unexplanable
788 posts gosh im such a crazy poster :P
oh gosh i hate dark circles around the eys that are desparately not closable @ 3 a morning.
an insane momento.

sometimes i feel myself so silly
like today, now.
O*o*O*o*o*O
l@blu

from BBC news
by Oliver Woods
in Vietnam

Catfish farmers in Vietnam are becoming increasingly worried about the country's trade dispute with the US.

The row over dumping of the fish has seen export orders from the US falling.

About half of Vietnam's catfish exports go to the American market, after the fish is cut into fillets and steaks at local factories.

The dispute is the first bilateral trade row since the US lifted the trade embargo against Vietnam in 1994.

Important income source

Over the past 60 years, Vietnam's history has been one of wars and political change.

It's a period that has seen many Vietnamese leave the country to start new lives in America, Australia and Europe.

But now some of the descendents of these emigrants are returning to the country - and bringing fresh business ideas with them.

"I work as a teacher, but my basic salary is not enough for me to cover all the expenses of my family," says Leng Ob Yoi who lives in a home built on a raft of oil drums tethered to the river bed.

"So catfish farming is an important second income for me - it's a profitable business for me," she says.

Accused by the US

Like many homes along the Mekong, Leng Ob Yoi's home doubles as an open plan catfish farm, with four large fish cages set into the floor of the house.

"America's accusation that Vietnam is dumping catfish is incorrect," she says.

"Farming is cheap in Vietnam because production costs are less than in other countries."

"Other products like rice are also sold cheaply - but no-one accuses Vietnam of dumping rice, so why catfish?" she asks.

Livelihoods under threat

Bo Oui is managing director of a fish factory and says that by selling products cheaply, Vietnam is only doing what made American stores such as Wal-Mart a success.

However, at the other end of the country in Hanoi, American Chamber of Commerce director, Adam Sitkoff, takes the opposite view.

He argues the legal action started by American fish farmers can only benefit Vietnam.

But for most Vietnamese fish farmers and exporters, this dispute is still viewed as an attack on their livelihoods.
See also:


US hits out at catfish and chips


The newly aggressive line on world trade emanating from the US was again in evidence on Tuesday night, as the Department of Commerce took aim at Vietnamese catfish and South Korean microchips.
The decision to slap a 45% tariff on memory chips from financially troubled vendor Hynix comes at the behest of US manufacturer Micron, which alleged that the South Korean government was unfairly subsidising the company's exports.

Vietnam's catfish growers are also in the firing line for allegedly "dumping" the fish fillets - exporting below cost or below the price on the home market - in what will be the first test of a US-Vietnam trade pact signed 18 months ago.

Both countries are protesting vociferously. South Korea says it will go to the World Trade Organisation over the tariffs, and Hynix chief executive EJ Woo called the the US action "unjustified and illegal".

And Vietnam insists that its catfish are cheaper simply because costs are much lower there than in the US.

One on one

While the WTO's global trade talks remain bogged down, not least because the European Union, the US and Japan are unwilling to get rid of huge agricultural tariffs, US trade negotiators have been pushing hard for bilateral deals to open up foreign markets to US exporters.

The Vietnam deal is only one of a chain of similar pacts with countries from Chile to Singapore.

Tuesday's actions come just 24 hours after the US's International Trade Commission backed a complaint from a Tennessee TV maker that TVs made in China were being dumped on the US market, imposing an 84% tariff.

Similarly, Malaysian manufacturers are facing a tariff of 46%.

In the meantime, the US's own actions have come in for criticism in recent years.

Since coming into office in Jaunary 2001, the administration of President George W Bush has introduced swingeing tariffs on foreign steel - albeit with broad-based exemptions - and has upped agricultural subsidies by more than $60bn
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/2999434.stm

More than just a shoulder to cry on


(VietNamNet) - There is a place in Hanoi for poor, needy and abused women to go. No more despair, as a small legal office is right there to help them stand firmly for themselves.

“What must I do now? I am so badly hurt, not only in my body, but also my soul.” Nguyen Thi Thanh cannot remember how many times she has been talking to herself with a voice of such despair. Indeed she felt as if she was a stone being rolled down the bed of some wicked stream.

A mobile consultation is underway in Vong La, Dong Anh district, Hanoi
Caught in the torrent of abuse from a husband who did nothing for the family but was a rainstorm of violence. And trapped by such a flood of anger she could not swim free. No divorce was carried out just because he would never sign the divorce petition.

At last her voice was heard and immediately a helpful hand was extended to her. Instead of magic from a powerful wand she found the help of Legal Education and Support for Disadvantaged Women (LESDW), located at 503 Hoang Hoa Tham Street, Ba Dinh Ha Noi. This is the first organisation to provide legal advice, support and counsel free of charge in Viet Nam.

LESDW came into operation on 01 August 2002. It is not a long time but though the projects night classes, thousands of women have been provided with free legal advice and counsel on their rights. Women are also helped in seeking legal redress if their rights are violated. And even if they are aware, they often cannot afford to hire legal counsel to argue their case, especially those struggling to survive. This project offers a means to justice.

Mrs Thanh learned that she can obtain divorce even if her husbands refuses to agree, not out of love but of malicious intent to keep the wife imprisoned. And for her a new day has dawned. Nothing now can prevent her from leading her own life and trying her best for happiness.

Have you ever called 1080 in the middle of night for some advice to your own private problem? For example “What must I do if my husband no longer pays attention to me?” or “Why he does not call me so often like an old flame?” I am sure that as a well-educated woman, you are just calling for someone who will really to you. It is hard to find someone who listens to you when we all lead such busy lives, is not it? But maybe after hearing some advice it turns out that you can help yourself by solving your problem.

Such is the point of a woman who would like her name to remain hidden. She knows that gone are those dark days when Vietnamese women would suffer so much. Now they can dare to speak of their problems to someone and it does work effectively provided that they overcome their fears and right address can be found. For this woman, LESDW helped her find a good lawyer and she won her dispute over the family estate. Women don’t often know that they have every right to receiving a part of their parent’s fortune. In my opinion sometimes it is necessary to be given a part of what your parents manage to gain in their lifetime.

“It is memory, of course but it is also a money matter. This amount of money will help me a lot to enrich myself and maybe society, which is exactly what my parents expected me to do.” She is frank in telling that.

I visited the project office one lovely afternoon without informing them in advance. It turned out that the surprise was on me. “Is there anything happening to you, whatever it is we are here to listen to your problems.” That was the first thing I heard from a very young man named Nguyen Hoang Khiem, a lawyer of the project who fields jobs from A to Z. “Oh my God!” I managed not to scream out on hearing this because being so young it is really unimaginable that someday I could be helpless, sad and down in the dumps. Now think twice because I know everything can happen. We both laugh loudly when I get to the point of my visit.

According to Mr Khiem, with the help of General department of Legal Support and Novib, an organization from Holland, this is the one place poor and needy women can come. “We are trying our best to reach gender equality. It is not just the matter of helping women to retain a lawyer when they need to start court proceedings but also by making them aware of their own rights and responsibilities, the way to establish a happy family through legal advice and counsel classes in each precinct or ward monthly or even weekly", he said.

There are dozens of professors at the Law University who are willing to teach them about legal matters. The women here are encouraged to make their problems heard. Then they discuss with each other to find a way to further what they have learned, to make them more and more active in their own lives. "Actually we don’t encourage them into divorce or legal proceedings. First of all, if it’s not too late, healing the relationship is better”, Thanh added.


This kind of project is brand new in Vietnam. According to Mr Khiem the project has been working very well in terms of counselling and conciliatory advice. LESDW may even enlarge its influence through these local support groups where women in need may discuss their problems and receive professional advice.



As in many countries, domestic violence, neglect, verbal abuse, deprivation of freedom, beatings and forced sex, are a concern in Vietnam. The most common form of gender-based violence complaints brought to criminal court is abuse of a woman by her husband. Trafficking in women and children for sweatshop labour, domestic work and prostitution are a growing problem in Viet Nam and in the region. It is time the government, related organisations and also all of us banded together to do something to deal with these problems.



LESDW has gained the Gender Equality third prize given by UNDP on the occasion of International Women’s Day. Upon the presentation of this prize, Rosemarie Geve, International Labour Organisation's (ILO) Representative in Vietnam said, “Projects like these help provide the necessary avenues and resources to help and empower women to take action against such violations”. She also believed that this project would help build an understanding in society that such forms of abuse are not only unacceptable, but they are illegal, criminal and need to be addressed seriously.

Vietnamese women are becoming more and more active, independent and well educated, with a higher role in family and society. It is true that a number of them are the key household member and bread winners. “We would like to see women happier and more successful. But please remember that you have the right and responsibility to lead your own life. We wish that we were not needed. When we become unemployed it means that no more sad, disappointed, abused women have to come to us. Don’t be afraid and don’t forget that whatever happens you can lay your trust on us and whenever you need we will be a shoulder to cry on”. That is the message Mr Khiem and his fellows would like to send to all Vietnamese women.

Story by To Van Nga, photo courtesy LESDW.

not a good day

Im exhausted ( not even sure if i spelt that word correctly). Anyway very tired.
But very happy. I met my buddy after 4 months or even more, i dont even remember. She went to work in a tourist resort. We had a blast of fun.Loz fo things to talk after long time, of course. Some really good things and some really nasty things happened to her there. Shes currently depressed. But shes still cheerful and laugh to tears all the time. She always try to keep uplifted spirit, which is hard i know. Thats the way she is and i really love her esp that character.
And then we talked about gays and lesbians. Then about fish sauce and beaches. Then about monks and friends.Then about moms and future.Then about loneliness and guys.
We had pizza and fruits. My mom was cool, she gave me money for pizza. Shes always a cool mom. :P
then we went to cd shops trying to find my cool Peter Cincotti and her Jay Chou, a chines RnBer. But in vain.
But it was fun aniwaz. I got some cds : man R&B 2002 collection,10 hits of Italy, Eros Ramazzoti Italian too. She got some Russian stuff for her moms, to make it up with her cuz she surfed around with me rather than helping her mom with packing to move in a new apartment.

As my buddy is a non-Vietnamese who speaks no vietnamese, oh well actually she does but only some slangs hehe, she doesnt have loz of friends here.And her family is a tragedy. So now shes just living with her mom. She doesnt wanna think about the future and dont wanna plan anything cuz if she does, shes' afraid it will never happen. So i was in vain asking her to think abou future and college and most importantly dumbing the old nasty guy shes's dating with just for fun becuz she needs to feel the fun of life desparately just to hide herself from depression.

Shes smart, noisy and kindered spirit. She is thirsty for inspiration and belief in life though.

I m not sure what i can do for her now. I guess i will have to talk her into applying to a college. I wish push, pull, press her all the time i guess hehe. She needs a change of environment where she can have more friends, a broader horizon and simply more air to breath. She wants to go to either Australia or Canada to study tourism, but then she's uncertain how and when and if she should.

A girl of 18 next month, she feels totally blur of what future holds her for her.

my tummy's roaring. Weird. Maybe cuz i had too much drinks, iceteas and iceteas.And walking in the sun and dust and heat without a hat, a mask, a long pant hehe.

And now im waiting to be screamed at by another friend whom i promise to be her partner in the dancing class cuz she couldnt find one.

And my mom's screaming downstair cuz i cant swallow dinner anymore for now.

But its a happy day.A little bit sad too, i donno why.Sometimes i feel ik given too much and havent appreciated enough.Ahh what a fun day!!:)

But well i gotta listen to Eros now. the guy is really cool.
Im falling in love with Italian music ... :)

*o*o*O*o*O*o*O*O*O
I just got to know a new tig member few seconds ago. And discover her website and i saw a quote that related so much to my emotions right now :
"Happiness is the permanent possession of goodness. In order to be good we have to correct ourselves. The requirements to correct ourselves are (a) to want it and (b) to have internal motivation (e-motion). Both of them exist in love. (a combination of Plato's ideas by Niki Lambropoulos)". i wish i could have some more bravery. I m searching for more.